THE IMPORTANCE OF COUNSEL (Part 1)

by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle 

  (President of  The Singles Fellowship, The Fountain of Life Church)

 

 A wise counsel is a right piece of advice that helps you take the right decision. Right decisions are important because poor decisions have consequences that can affect not only your life but also the people around you. For instance, if you marry a lady and you begin to have issues, it won’t affect only you; it will affect your parents, friends and children even 20 years from now. Your decision now is not only affecting you but things in your future. It is important we begin to realize counsel is important. Jesus took counsel.
For every major decision you have to make in life you need counsel. A lot of people take major decisions in life without involving any person assuming they know it all. Though, some people do involve the wrong set of people.

The issue of marriage is not a joke and I don’t think you should take it lightly. This is the essence of the Singles Fellowship, to know if you are in a right relationship or not and to know if you are prepared for a relationship or not.
There was a man that dated different ladies - a serial dater. He thought every lady had a problem until he started to attend Singles Fellowship. After a few months, he realised he was the problem. Counseling helped him to realise where the problem laid. Some people who are in relationships sometimes when their partners offend them a little, the next thing they say is “I will break up with you.”

Thus, before you go into a relationship

YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED AND IT'S SEEMS NOT TO BE HAPPENING: HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN (PART A)

By Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

INTRODUCTION

Some people have difficulty in getting married; the reason for this message, to help identify where you got it wrong and teach you what to do to make it happen.
Not to be married as at the time you want to be married or expected to be married is a big challenge; especially

in the kind of society we live in. But, you can always find rest in Jesus Christ.
Firstly, you need to rely on God to overcome the challenges of life. Matthew 11:28-30.
Secondly, you need to desire it. Isaiah 34:16. The desire to get married is a good desire because marriage was initiated by God. God's will is for you to get married. But, if there is a delay in you getting married, it may require you to stay more in God's presence. Perhaps, if it is self-inflicted, you need to ask Him which area of your life you must work on.
Here are some reasons why people don't get married as much as they desire it to happen:

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: The Fact, the Fiction and The Chemistry (Part 2)

By Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

It is difficult to differentiate between love and infatuation because feelings and emotions are inherent in every human being.

Human eyes will naturally crave for some things and see things. But not all that you see are good. So, you need to take a second look and discern properly. If you want a successful relationship, you need to live beyond your physical senses and never make permanent decisions based on what you see.

Love is a covenant that requires commitment and responsibilities. Thus, sometimes, duty comes before feelings in love. You can’t take a covenant at first sight. Love is not on the skin as in a broad chest, or in a good job, nice voice or mundane beauty. Love is deeper than all these. It is the essence of God.

True love is critical to a successful marriage. Marriage is a life time investment in your life and another person which must not be made on mere feelings, emotions and attractions that are temporal (fade away quickly).

SERVICE IN MARRIAGE

By Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

Service is one of the keys to having a great marriage. Service involves giving yourself joyfully and not grudgingly for the benefit of others. You can give without loving but you can't love without giving.

Marriage is all about service; therefore, you need to learn how to properly serve your spouse. Without service, you can't have a sustainable, successful, blissful and fruitful marriage.

Some people go into marriage with an aim that their partners will meet their needs. This is wrong! You go into marriage with a mindset to give your very best to your partner. This is why it is important to spend more time to invest in your life while you are still single. By so doing, when you get married you will have something worthwhile to deliver to your spouse.

Service doesn't demean or debase the one rendering the service; rather, it brings respect and exaltation.

Service in Marriage

According to Matthew 20:20-28, Jesus is our perfect example because He came to the world to serve. When you go into relationship, you must understand that it not all about you but more about your partner. If you want to be blessed in your marriage, you need to serve your spouse whole-heartedly. A good marriage consists of two committed and cheerful servants while a bad marriage consists of two committed masters.

Note that, the aim of service in marriage is to out-serve or out-do one another and not for competition or rivalry. Thus, there are responsibilities that are attached to being a husband or a wife and this suggest true service.

HOW TO CRITICIZE YOUR SPOUSE CONSTRUCTIVELY

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

Text: Galatians 6:1-5

The issue of criticism cannot be ignored in a relationship. This is simply because we all have our weaknesses and your partner looking at your weaknesses in the relationship might want to react through criticism. Now knowing that we cannot help but criticize and our criticism must be constructive. While criticizing, you must be very careful because your motive must be right otherwise it will be misunderstood and you may fall off your feet.

Criticism is dangerous and can be a destroyer of relationship. If not properly handled and utilized, it may make your partner feel inferior, shameful and lose their sense of belonging. When you criticize someone there is no real guarantee that he/she will change except you do it in the right way.

You can criticize someone without being critical. You need to keep giving him/her pieces of advice from your mind until “you exhaust yourself and lose your mind”. You must operate on the basis of love. Your spouse doesn’t need to earn your love; you must learn to give it as you have the grace of God.

When you criticize your partner, it should be from a genuine concern or simply because you want to be happy together. Proverbs 11:27. If it is of a genuine concern, we will find favour and they will change but when the motive is wrong then you will get the otherwise. Proverbs 18:19-21. Therefore, the legitimate reason for criticism is to improve the other partner and for the relationship to grow. Criticism is a very bad way to make a request from your spouse.

To be able to properly criticize constructively, you need to observe the following:

1.      You need to develop the ability and attitude to overlook a lot of things:

In a relationship, most of the things people fight for or on are irrelevant things because they fail to ignore

BATTLE OF THE SEXES: 7 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN (Part 3)

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

Genesis 1:26- ; 2:15-25

When God created the man and the woman, He made them as such that they are equal before Him; no one is superior to the other. No one is inferior to the other.

We noticed here that, when God created the man, He gave him a work to do. He did not leave him idle in the Garden. He told him to watch and tend the Garden. Therefore, as a man, there is a purpose for your life.

While man was in the Garden working, God found out that for him to fulfill the work He gave him, it is not good for him to be alone. He needs a helper that meets his need. So, a woman is made to be a helper for a man. God has programmed in her for her to help.

By implication, whoever fights his wife fights his helper. God brings a woman into a man’s life as a helper. The reason a man and a woman fights is because they are different, but their design is divine. The ways a man and a woman are wired are divine. But until we start to appreciate these differences, we will not work in unity to fulfill God’s purpose in our design.  Both need to walk and work in unity of purpose.

DIFFERENCE 4: WOMEN ARE INTUITIVE WHILE MEN ARE ANALYTICAL

Usually, a man wants the fact and looks, observe and sees the facts. He premises his decisions on facts. He wants to add up things as a way of critically analyzing issues. But a woman sometimes is not like that. Women a highly sensitive to feelings. It is important to be led by the Holy Spirit. Two spiritual spouses will always