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By Pastor Kunle Osunkunle
INTRODUCTION
Some people have difficulty in getting married; the reason for this message, to help identify where you got it wrong and teach you what to do to make it happen.
Not to be married as at the time you want to be married or expected to be married is a big challenge; especially
in the kind of society we live in. But, you can always find rest in Jesus Christ.
Firstly, you need to rely on God to overcome the challenges of life. Matthew 11:28-30.
Secondly, you need to desire it. Isaiah 34:16. The desire to get married is a good desire because marriage was initiated by God. God's will is for you to get married. But, if there is a delay in you getting married, it may require you to stay more in God's presence. Perhaps, if it is self-inflicted, you need to ask Him which area of your life you must work on.
Here are some reasons why people don't get married as much as they desire it to happen:
1. THEY TRY TOO HARD: They become desperate and then choose wrongly. Also, you make everyone that comes your way get worried and confused. When you try too hard chances are that you will compromise, make mistakes and fall into diverse mistakes.
When you try too hard, you are susceptible to the following:
(i.) "I need deliverance" syndrome.
(ii.) "Seeking for Prophets" syndrome.
(iii.) People taking advantage of you because you sell yourself cheaply.
(iv.) Moving ahead of God.
2. THEY HOLD ON TO THEIR PAST: Some hold on to their past mistakes, disappointments and compromises. Some hold on to the experiences of their parents or the people around them. Don't let your past or others' experiences become
a stronghold in your life. You need to dissociate yourself from your past regardless of what happened to you in the past. You don’t have to condemn yourself because Jesus Christ will never condemn you. God wants to make you a new creation because He doesn’t want your past to be part of you. Start living a free life in Christ because the old things have passed away. 2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:1; Micah 7:19; Psalms 103:12; Titus 2:14.
3. THEY LACK USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE: Every good gift comes in a package. You need to unwrap the package to know more about the gifts. You need to seek useful information to be able to appreciate the gifts and do all things with sincerity of heart.
4. THEY HOLD ON TO SELF-PERCEPTION: Some people get irritated about their physical disabilities saying may be it is because they are not beautiful or handsome enough. While some have a bloated perception of themselves as such that they repel people with their attitudes. This is PRIDE. You need to study the word of God more to have the right perception about yourself. You need to imbibe patience to come to people’s level and make them better. Don't give in to low self esteem or pride.
5. THEY SIT ON THE FENCE: Someone who is committed and active is looking for someone who is also committed and active. While unbelievers go to any length to socialize and eventually meet their spouses, believers must go to Church and be actively committed in serving God. Don’t be in the middle ground. Don't be indifferent about relationship and marriage processes.
6. THEY GIVE FINANCIAL REASONS: Some think they need to make millions in order to get married. They believe they cannot afford marriage's or relationship's responsibilities. The challenge with some people is they want in 3 years what it took their parents 30 years to get. When you meet someone you desire to marry and both of you have means of income, prudently plan on your income and plan for what you can afford. Don't despise the days of your little beginning. You need to account for your daily expenses; it will help you to hold your income very well.
7. THEY MISS OPPORTUNITIES WHEN THEY FAIL TO MULTITASK: God has given us His Spirit to empower us and help us handle all life issues and multitask. When we fail to do this we under-utilize the potential in us. This is because we live in time and opportunities come in seasons. Don't compartmentalize your life. Don’t leave or abandon a part of your life for the benefit of another part. Learn to manage and deal with life issues at same time and order your life in prayers.
8. THEY HAVE UNREALISTIC AND UNGODLY EXPECTATIONS: Some people want to marry a magazine portrait which they have seen. They develop an unrealistic frame of mind with certain selfish specifications and thus, hinder themselves from ceasing opportunities that come by. Submit your specifications to God and ask for His will. Ask Him to know what He wants for you.
9. THEY HAVE THE FEAR OF MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON: Job 3:25. Some have so much knowledge that it prevents them from acting or taking decisions when it is necessary. At times, acting in faith may be acting against your knowledge. Fear will always affect your decision making. The devil doesn't have access to your life until you allow fear to set in. One of the challenges people have that results to fear is rigidity. You need to be flexible. Don’t be rigid with choices of tribe, religious denomination, etc. Don't let your knowledge hinder you. Always act in faith.
10. THEY HAVE IDOLIZED MARRIAGE BY MAKING IT THEIR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY: Some have turned marriage desire to idolatry by making it number one thing in their lives. God will always fight you on this. Don't allow your desire to get married take God's place in your life.
11. THEY ARE INSINCERE TO THEMSELVES: Find out what you why you want to get married and ensure your motives are right. If your motives are wrong your actions will be wrong. Also, you need to be focused and stay put on just a friend for relationship. Don’t take every friendship you make deep relationship because every deep relationship will always take a part of you. Avoid this so you will not be shattered in the end or become miserable.
Finally, perhaps you realize you need to surrender your life to Jesus Christ today; you don’t need to wait for the next moment. If you want to decide for Him, pray this prayer with me right now:
“Lord Jesus, I confess that you are Lord. I believe You died and rose from the dead for my sake. Forgive my sins, be my Saviour and make me a child of God from this day forward. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name.”
We look forward to seeing you in our fellowship which holds every Monday at The Fountain of Life Church, Ilupeju, Lagos by 6 p.m.
God bless you.
INTRODUCTION
Not to be married as at the time you want to be married or expected to be married is a big challenge; especially
in the kind of society we live in. But, you can always find rest in Jesus Christ.
Firstly, you need to rely on God to overcome the challenges of life. Matthew 11:28-30.
Secondly, you need to desire it. Isaiah 34:16. The desire to get married is a good desire because marriage was initiated by God. God's will is for you to get married. But, if there is a delay in you getting married, it may require you to stay more in God's presence. Perhaps, if it is self-inflicted, you need to ask Him which area of your life you must work on.
Here are some reasons why people don't get married as much as they desire it to happen:
1. THEY TRY TOO HARD: They become desperate and then choose wrongly. Also, you make everyone that comes your way get worried and confused. When you try too hard chances are that you will compromise, make mistakes and fall into diverse mistakes.
When you try too hard, you are susceptible to the following:
(i.) "I need deliverance" syndrome.
(ii.) "Seeking for Prophets" syndrome.
(iii.) People taking advantage of you because you sell yourself cheaply.
(iv.) Moving ahead of God.
2. THEY HOLD ON TO THEIR PAST: Some hold on to their past mistakes, disappointments and compromises. Some hold on to the experiences of their parents or the people around them. Don't let your past or others' experiences become
a stronghold in your life. You need to dissociate yourself from your past regardless of what happened to you in the past. You don’t have to condemn yourself because Jesus Christ will never condemn you. God wants to make you a new creation because He doesn’t want your past to be part of you. Start living a free life in Christ because the old things have passed away. 2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:1; Micah 7:19; Psalms 103:12; Titus 2:14.
3. THEY LACK USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE: Every good gift comes in a package. You need to unwrap the package to know more about the gifts. You need to seek useful information to be able to appreciate the gifts and do all things with sincerity of heart.
4. THEY HOLD ON TO SELF-PERCEPTION: Some people get irritated about their physical disabilities saying may be it is because they are not beautiful or handsome enough. While some have a bloated perception of themselves as such that they repel people with their attitudes. This is PRIDE. You need to study the word of God more to have the right perception about yourself. You need to imbibe patience to come to people’s level and make them better. Don't give in to low self esteem or pride.
5. THEY SIT ON THE FENCE: Someone who is committed and active is looking for someone who is also committed and active. While unbelievers go to any length to socialize and eventually meet their spouses, believers must go to Church and be actively committed in serving God. Don’t be in the middle ground. Don't be indifferent about relationship and marriage processes.
7. THEY MISS OPPORTUNITIES WHEN THEY FAIL TO MULTITASK: God has given us His Spirit to empower us and help us handle all life issues and multitask. When we fail to do this we under-utilize the potential in us. This is because we live in time and opportunities come in seasons. Don't compartmentalize your life. Don’t leave or abandon a part of your life for the benefit of another part. Learn to manage and deal with life issues at same time and order your life in prayers.
8. THEY HAVE UNREALISTIC AND UNGODLY EXPECTATIONS: Some people want to marry a magazine portrait which they have seen. They develop an unrealistic frame of mind with certain selfish specifications and thus, hinder themselves from ceasing opportunities that come by. Submit your specifications to God and ask for His will. Ask Him to know what He wants for you.
9. THEY HAVE THE FEAR OF MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON: Job 3:25. Some have so much knowledge that it prevents them from acting or taking decisions when it is necessary. At times, acting in faith may be acting against your knowledge. Fear will always affect your decision making. The devil doesn't have access to your life until you allow fear to set in. One of the challenges people have that results to fear is rigidity. You need to be flexible. Don’t be rigid with choices of tribe, religious denomination, etc. Don't let your knowledge hinder you. Always act in faith.
11. THEY ARE INSINCERE TO THEMSELVES: Find out what you why you want to get married and ensure your motives are right. If your motives are wrong your actions will be wrong. Also, you need to be focused and stay put on just a friend for relationship. Don’t take every friendship you make deep relationship because every deep relationship will always take a part of you. Avoid this so you will not be shattered in the end or become miserable.
Finally, perhaps you realize you need to surrender your life to Jesus Christ today; you don’t need to wait for the next moment. If you want to decide for Him, pray this prayer with me right now:
“Lord Jesus, I confess that you are Lord. I believe You died and rose from the dead for my sake. Forgive my sins, be my Saviour and make me a child of God from this day forward. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name.”
We look forward to seeing you in our fellowship which holds every Monday at The Fountain of Life Church, Ilupeju, Lagos by 6 p.m.
God bless you.
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