THE POWER OF COMPLIMENT

Have you noticed that sometimes, "ordinary" looking people seem to have no problem with getting into a relationship or making good friends?

Have you observed that customers would rather join a longer queue waiting to be served by a particular co-worker than by others with short queues?

Has it come to your attention that your staffs prefer to work with a particular team leader than with others?

If you answer “yes” to at least one of these questions above, you just might discover, after asking around, that their secret is an unwavering habit of paying compliments to people.

A compliment is an admiring comment, a kind remark about someone else. It shows that you are paying attention to and appreciate the person you are talking to. The power or value of a sincere compliment is not seen as its size (number of words spoken), but in its effect on both the receiver and the giver.

An admiring comment is beneficial to both the giver and the receiver; it induces positive responsive emotions in the receiver which then bounces back to the giver in form of an irresistible, infectious smile or a returned and reciprocated compliment. It creates an affectionate connection between the giver and the receiver thereby strengthening their relationship and enhancing intimacy or unavoidable closeness.

Is your marriage losing its closeness? Have you found that your relationships, courtship or marriage lack a “certain quality” that you desire? You may need to check your “compliment-o-meter”.

Take the time to look for truly endearing or commendable qualities in your spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, etc; and then tell them about it. It shows that you hold them in high esteem and it will lift their spirits

Compliment must be giving with all sincerity. It is an attitude of love; the more reason it must be giving with all sincerity, because love is sincere. 1Corinthians 13:4-8a.
A compliment contains immense, immeasurable power. It has the power to brighten an otherwise bad day, enhance closeness in a relationship and break the ice when meeting someone for the first time. You simply cannot lose with compliments; the more you give, the more you will receive.

Tips On Giving Compliments
Always remember that compliment is all about the other person. Comment on their admirable quality and not your impression of that quality. e.g. “You have a wonderful voice” rather than “I think your singing was great” or “You look great in that dress” rather than “I like that dress” or “I enjoyed this delicacy so much, it’s with a sweet sensation because you are a great cook” rather than “Your food is sweet, hmm m m”.
When paying a compliment, keep eye contact with the person and please, smile! Eye contact implies that you are sincere about what you are saying and not just “buttering up” the person.
Don't limit your compliments to people’s physical appearances. We are all more than just our looks; if you make the effort, you will find something good about their personalities. Though compliments help to create a bond between people, do not make them too personal unless you know the person very well.
Pay sincere compliments! When you give genuine compliments, you will be seen as someone who cares about others and their achievements, and not just your own. Giving sincere praise is an act of kindness, and kindness is an attitude of love. 1Corinthians 13:4a. Thereby, you earn and build trust which is an indispensable pillar of any meaningful relationship. Trust is earned, not giving. A compliment followed up with a criticism smacks of insincerity and envy; and may finally end up in distrust.
Don't compliment a person too often; it can be irritating and also gives the impression that you want something from him/her.
Compliments given in order to manipulate or take advantage of others are usually obvious and are always turn-offs.

In the work place, paying compliments can be delicate but as long as the compliments are limited to achievements on-the-job and do not extend to personal appearances, it is acceptable. Wisdom is profitable to direct in all things.

When a manager or team leader compliments someone, it encourages him/her, builds goodwill, often fosters a willingness to go the extra mile and enhance good work-relationship. Colleagues can make their work environment more conducive by complimenting each other; a simple “you make my work easier and I appreciate you” or “thank you so much for the assistance” can result into improved productivity.

Tips On Receiving Compliments
Many people do not know how to receive compliments. This could be due to the fact that they do not receive compliments often and so do not know how to gracefully accept them, they are shy about receiving compliments or the do not give/pay compliments to others. Thus, their response is to either brush the compliment aside or put themselves down; this is wrong.

When someone pays you a compliment, the proper response is to show appreciation for their kind words with a smile (avoid a grin, it may imply deceit) and a simple “Thank you” or “It’s my pleasure” or “Huh, it’s kind of you”. These are few examples of words of sincere acceptance.

The truth is that it is pleasant to know that you are appreciated but if you keep rejecting them, people will stop complimenting you. A gracious acceptance of compliments does not make you immodest.

In the business world, it is good business etiquette to respond by giving a compliment in return when someone gives you a compliment.

Whether it is to enhance your marriage, relationships or business, compliments have an undisputable, indomitable force which can help you to achieve your goal, even faster or quicker than ever envisaged. Why don’t you give a trial today and see the difference it will make in your relationships, courtship or marriage.

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