MARRIAGE: ENDURANCE OR ENJOYMENT (Part 1)

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

Jeremiah 29:11; 1Timothy 6:17.

Marriage

Many people want to have a good and successful marriage, but not everyone is ready to work for it; except to indulge in fantasies. Many know the kind of good benefits and effects they want in their marriages, but they are not ready to give the necessary efforts. Not everyone is willing to pay the prize.

Hebrews 13:4 (AMPLIFIED)

Marriage is to be held precious as a great prize or gift. Marriage is not cheap; it will cost you something if you want to have an enjoyable marriage.

To enjoy means to experience joy and have satisfaction, while to endure means to bear with patience and to tolerate. Endurance means to choose to intentionally tolerate what you don’t like.

You need to know that fighting and quarreling always make you see the ugly side of a person. Avoid it in your relationship and marriage.

Many people base their marriage on superficial things. They think it is all about beauty, physical look and money. Yes, she is pretty now, but will she still be pretty after few years of marriage when she has delivered babies.

Matthew 19:1-6.

Marriage is based on two people who are deeply and irrevocably committed to one another. The basis of marriage is commitment – true irrevocable commitment. “Becoming one” is not what happens in just a day; it is a process and the process is not easy. Just like in manufacturing a product there is a process that should be taken. If anything happens in the processing stage at any point, it usually results to a defected product. The same apply to marriage. Any fault in the processing of marriage results in divorce, shame, pain and heart-ache. That is, why there are so many defected marriages and homes today is because many couples had problems in the processing periods of their marriage (friendship, dating and courtship processes).

These processes will require adjustment on the part of both partners, because some things will never change. So, you necessarily have to adjust and change since both of you are from different backgrounds and have had different life experiences. There are so many things you are used to, so you need to adjust and come to a reasonable compromise in order to achieve your purpose and mutual intentions or set goals.

IMPORTANT DEFINITIONS OF MARRIAGE

      1.      Marriage is a holy covenant: It is very disgusting to see how people easily divorce.

      2.      Marriage is conditioned on an irrevocable promise: That is, there is no turning back.

      3.      Marriage involves a walk with an imperfect person: This is why it requires a lot of patience (endurance)    and reasonable compromises. You need to submit to the authority of the Holy Spirit in order to teach you what to do so as to walk with the imperfect person.

      4.      Marriage is for a lifetime: It is till death to the parting.

      5.      Marriage is to glorify God: We are created for God’s pleasure. People should see your marriage in this light as an example. When people have problems in marriage, it reveals the position they have put God.

1 Samuel 2:30b.

Every time your marriage honours God, God will honour you. You need to realize that marriage is hardwork. For anyone to enjoy marriage, you need to first of all endure. You need to be matured in your reasoning and thoughts.

There is no testing period in marriage; so, you need to be sure before you get married. Never marry someone because you look up to him/her for happiness. If you are not happy before marriage, you may not be happy in it. If you are not enjoying yourself before marriage, you may not enjoy yourself in it.

It is not every time you will love your partner or that he/she will make you happy. What will keep you there is commitment. The objective of marriage is oneness and this involves real deep commitment.

Commitment usually requires endurance, focus and extra works. There are things you need to endure from your partner in order to enjoy him/her later. Endurance is not a bad thing as long as it yields positive and desirable results.

Hebrews 6:15.

The order of your commitment should first be to God, then your partner. Let God be the centre of your relationship.

Hebrews 12:1-2.

You need to run your marriage with endurance and enough patience. When you are committed to God, you will be committed to your partner. Sometimes, you have to despise shame, overlook wrongs and endure in order to enjoy your relationship. Learn to be quiet and patient. Usually, one of the parties has to take the initiative to accept wrongs for peace to reign.

Thomas H. Hearth said, “Growth in marriage takes place through a number of death and resurrection. If there is no growth in it, it is because what need to die has not died or has resurrected.”

Jesus Christ did not go to the cross because of His feelings for mankind, but because of He is committed to His eternal love for us. He did the will of God the Father. Likewise, everything you do in marriage should be as to do the will of God.

If you don’t submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit, you are bound to always say something negative when you are crushed. The Holy Spirit is there for us to produce endurance in our lives from God’s love. If your love can’t endure, you can’t enjoy. However, endurance should not last a lifetime otherwise, enjoyment will be scarce. Prolonged endurance will take away enjoyment (that is, denial of enjoyment). Endurance is to produce fruits of enjoyment.

In order to have a shortened endurance and a prolonged enjoyment, you need to take your partner to God in prayers.

Make sure you marry someone who is teachable, patient, humble and changeable. If he/she is not all that, be prepared for a lifetime of endurance.

God bless you.

Share this

THE CONFIDENT SINGLES