BUILDING A SATISFYING, HEALTHY, AND PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIP II

Message from Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

Ruth 1:6-22

There are some qualities, attitudes, characters and traits that must be considered in building healthy relationship. Here is an attempt to address this issue as I highlight the attitudes and characters to look out for in your proposed partner. They are as follow:

DEVOTION TO GOD AND TO FAMILY: You must ensure that your partner is passionate and devoted to God through thick and thin. Devotion means ardent attachment and loyalty, faithfulness, love and passion unrestrained, stern determination, resoluteness, commitment, consistency, etc. Look for someone who is God-centered and not self-centered. How devoted is he/she to his/her family and their values? He/she must have a right motive to stay with you in thick and thin; no matter the situation. Ask these questions; will he/she still loves you when you are no longer handsome/beautiful? Will he/she still want you or loves you when you don’t have money or lose all you have gotten like Job? Job 2:9-10.
Ruth was devoted to her vows and commitment in marriage. When realities set in, despite the tragedies, pains and cries, only Ruth among the two daughters-in-law of Orpah remained devoted to her vows. This was as a result of her devotion to God. Ruth 1:16-17.
Devotion is a matter of attitude and attitude is a matter of heart.
Devotion in terms of will, your heart desires, decisions, kindness, right and good virtues…. You must understand that family is a very important aspect of a lasting relationship and meaningful marriage.
Look for someone who is devoted and committed to her career and responsibilities as a woman. Ruth 2:4-7; Prov.31:13-25. Someone who can give all.
Don’t look for someone who will make you apologize for your faith. Do people talk about his/her devotion to God and to life? Your devotion is what will spot you out and expose your visions and pursuits in life. Love is highly devoted (and never gives up). It keeps spiritual fervour and serves God. Rom.12:10-11; 1Cor.13:7a.

KINDNESS: Look for someone who is kind-hearted. Ruth 2:8-9. That someone is a human being makes him/her deserves kindness and respect no matter the circumstances around him/her. Someone who is kind and respectful can go extra miles to honour his/her partner and treat him/her more than he/she deserves. Love is kind. Rom.12:14-15, 20; 1Cor.13:4.

RESPECT: Look for someone who can respect you the way you are. Always remember that respect is mutual. Build respect in yourself in other to respect other people. Respectful people are usually humble. Love is not ill-mannered or behaves rudely, honours others above himself and is always eager to show respect to others. Rom.12:10; 1Cor.13:5a.

HUMILITY: Don’t look for prideful people. A prideful partner will cause you to stumble and you remain unfulfilled. Don’t look for someone who will not accept you the way you are and appreciate (condescend to) your status. Love is not proud, accepts humble duties and always willing to associate with people of low status (position). Rom.12:16; 1Cor.13:4; Prov.16:18; 1Peter 5:5-6.

DEVOTION TO WORK/CAREER: Look for someone who is hardworking, intelligent and very industrious; someone who has a vision for the future, consistent in al he/she does and does well in whatever his/her hands find doing. Consistency in what he/she does – kindness, devotion to God and family, career is important. Love is not lacking in zeal, works hard. Rom.12:11a; Ruth 2:17.

TEACHABLE: You need to look for someone who is humble, has a teachable spirit, ready to be corrected, good listener and able to learn new things that will edify without much ado. Ruth 3:1-5; Prov.1:5; 9:9. Look for someone whose heart is always open to receive wisdom and guidance, especially to things that will improve life. The question of can he/she be taught cannot be overemphasized. Avoid someone who will not listen or heed to your advices.

INTEGRITY: The word integrity comes from the word integer which has its root meaning in latin – integer means wholeness, bond… Integrity has to do with consistency in values, words, characters, habits, thoughts and devotions. Look for honest person who will always hold on to his/her words, someone who will do as he/she says; someone who is very sincere. Don’t do things because you want someone to notice you, he/she will only see what you are doing and admire it to latter hate you with passion when you stop or fail in doing the things he had admired. Someone that God and men can boast and be proud of always responsible people. They are usually trustworthy and truthful. Job 2:3.

TRUST: Look for someone who depends and trusts only in God. Such person will be able to trust in you no matter the situations. Look for someone who believes in your dreams, visions, hopes and aspirations and is ready to help you pursue together to achieve them. Psalms 21:21.

GOOD COMMUNICATION: This is usually in the form of verbal and non-verbal communication. Look for someone who is sincere in words and able to control his/her tongue; not a gossip, parrot who speaks abuses and filthy words or evil slang and languages. Look for someone who understands right and good body languages. Someone who will be able to understand your needs without you pressing for a voice. Someone who is able to demonstrate love to you without offending you. Love does not keep a record of wrongs and does not rejoice in other's mistakes. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1Cor.13:6.

Finally, dear friends, “…let each one of you be careful how he builds…” 1Cor.3:10. Believe me, you have received grace upon grace from God to be a wise builder. John 1:16. Therefore work in this understanding and build wisely as a wise expert builder. Remember that, the quality of whatever you are building now will be tried/tested by storms of life, rain and sunshine, and fire in the days to come. Certainly, challenges will come just to test your expertise in the building work; only if you have built correctly in absolute accordance to the specifications of the Chief Architect, Supervisor or Engineer will your building stands. Matthew 7:24-29; 1Cor.3:10-15. You can’t afford to build in haste or anyhow, if you do, time will tell.
Once again, I say to you loved ones, “…be outrightly careful…” (emphasized).

PRAYERS

“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain…” Psalms 127:1a.
If the Lord does not build the house (for us), the work of the builders is useless. God is indispensable in our building project, in all aspects of the work, at all stages of the project execution. You can afford you build without God’s help and getting His divine Hands involve in all the works.
Therefore, if you haven’t given your life to Christ, you stand no chance to have God involve in your building project. You will only build to experience a calamity, destructive fall and total collapse which may lead to your death. So, you can’t afford to build without Jesus’ involvement. Even if you have laid your foundation on Him, you still need to ensure that He is involved in the construction processes/works. Get Him involved today! Jer.33:3.

Don’t forget to post your comments, questions and share your experiences with us here for other readers to learn and be blessed. We welcome your prayer requests as we believe that prayer changes things; prayer changes people and people change things. God can do all things, so you can because He will strengthen you. Phil.4:13.

Remain confident.

Share this

THE CONFIDENT SINGLES