BATTLE OF THE SEXES: 7 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN (Part 2)

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

The first thing you will find out when you get married is that “love is patient.” God designed a woman different from man with a reason. Although, there are exceptional cases; but the differences we are considering are for most men and women.
The way a man thinks as different from the way a woman thinks is to help in decision making in their relationship. Both are not to compete because of their differences, but to complement each other.
Sometimes, duty comes before joy and happiness. So, men need to be patient and very wise enough to handle their spouses so that they can be happy in their relationship.

DIFFERENCE 2: - PHYSICAL DIFFERENCE

      1. The physical appeal or appearance of a man and a woman usually shows certain differences between the duo. While a man’s body shape is straight and rectangular with strong biceps, a woman’s body shape is curvy and busty. Someone once opined that God must have made man from raw materials and woman from finished products.
      2. Women have more hormones than men. This is why they are more emotional and very touchy. For instance, when a woman is pregnant or in her menstrual cycle, her hormones are usual in high action that she gets to be very touchy and emotional.
When women with such abilities submit to the Holy Spirit, they will be able to control their emotions and act in ways they will not hurt themselves or other people.
      3. In 1 Peter 3:7, we can infer that men are usually physically strong. Most men are usually 15% stronger than most women. This is to help them fulfill their roles as a “protector” and a “provider” for their families. Man’s God’s given strength is not for him to beat his wife turning her to a punching bag; or bully the children under the disguise of chastening them. It is for him to serve her and the entire family.
     4. Men are moved by what they see physically but women are moved by what they hear. So, while most men engage in looking around and surveying, women engage in talking and listening to hear good things.
     5. Sexual Drive: - Sex is only to be practiced in marriage. The sexual drive for men is always present. Men are usually the initiators of sex and for them they can have sex anywhere. For women, it must be in a conducive environment, comfortable enough to stimulate them and build up their emotions because they want a sexual build-up. Most women want to be prepared mentally before having sex. Don’t just get her annoyed or tired because she always want to be prepared emotionally and mentally before having sex.
     6. Women response to feelings while men response to sight (what they see). You must treat her with much care. Give her surprise calls and gifts. Give her sweet compliments and good gestures. You can send her sweet rose flowers. Just do things for her out of the ordinary. You can also help her in doing some of the house chores and in the kitchen. Because men are moved by sight, women should make sure they look queenly gorgeous at all times for their spouses. For instance, wake up early in the morning to appear before your husband as a clean queen so that he carry a beautiful picture of you as he steps out of home for work. By this, he will be able to keep a good memory of you throughout the day, keep the communication with you and avoid liable temptations.

DIFFERENCE 3: - WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL, MEN ARE LOGICAL

     1. Though all people are in touch with their emotions, but women are more emotional than men. They are usually prone to feelings. They say words like the following when engaged in discussions: “you don’t know how I feel”, “dear”, etc. They refer most times to their feelings when in conversing.
On the other hand, men are logical as they always want to reason out things. They ask questions to get down understanding in details every bit of an issue or situation. When it comes to business, work, family, etc, he is usually logical because he wants to take responsibility for all things.
Most women keep silent when they are highly emotional and troubled. When you she says to you “nothing”, you need to just hold her hands and keep silent. There are many things to learn and understand in silence.
Sometimes, the emotions of women are right and same time, the logic of men is right. Then, it is important to be wise in taking decision. Research has proven that more women are treated for depression than men because they are more emotional.
     2.  You need to be careful on how you handle the issue of money in a relationship. Women can be very emotional in giving. She barely thinks before giving out money. But, a man ordinarily will first of all sit down and reason out things before taking a decision or action. Women are usually drawn to people in need than most men. What is most important that both of you should always seek is whether both of you are happy or not.

Woman Crying Uncontrollably

    3. Most women cry about four times more than men. This affects them in their life endeavours even in spiritual matters.
    4. When women are emotional, they talk more. But for men, they rather bottle up and get angry than get to talking. When you have any disagreement in your relationship, make sure you quickly sought out things and don’t hide your forgiveness. As a man, you are a leader; you are the first that should seek for reconciliation and forgive. Resolving issues is not about what or who is right or wrong. When your spouse unearth her emotions – the way she feels, it will help a lot in solving many problems. So, allow her to talk.
Men should understand women’s emotions in order to avoid manipulation.

DIFFERENCE 4: - WOMEN ARE INTUITIVE, MEN ARE ANALYTICAL

    1. When a woman talks, you need to listen. She will seem nagging at times; it is because you haven’t heard her. Though some women nag when they talk about their emotions and feelings. When a woman talks and expresses herself, she doesn’t necessarily wants you to proffer solutions but just to listen attentive to her.
Men that know how to treat their spouses well are those who know how to listen attentively.
Women should support the logical visions, goals and ambitions or dreams of their spouses.

BATTLE OF THE SEXES: 7 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN (Part 1)

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle
Bible Text: Genesis 2:18-25.

God created a man and a woman giving them individual specific roles. Women are made to be helpers while men are made to be workers.

DON'T FIGHT

When God gives you an assignment, He will give you the anointing and ability to fulfill it. If He has called you to be a man or a woman with particular roles, He will give you all that you need to fulfill the roles.
God has a purpose for the man which is different from His purpose for the woman. His plan is as such that when both come together in marriage, it is with an aim to fulfill a divine mandate.
If you are in a relationship and you can't appreciate the differences between a man and a woman, you can't enjoy the benefits therein.
According to 1 Peter 3:7, women need to be understood. When a woman says she is not heard, it implies that the man needs to give more attention to hearing her. Understanding in this sense means, "To be under the opinion or stance of someone (in this case, your partner)."
Marriage is not a place for competition because both partners are in the same team aiming at the same goal while the devil is the opposition team. Both of you need to work and labour together to achieve a successful relationship.
"That a woman is a weaker vessel" as quoted in the above-mentioned Scriptures means, "she is very fragile and expensive like porcelain." Therefore, you must treat her with so much care and love.
The way a man thinks and processes information is quite different from the way a woman thinks and processes information. You need to understand the way your spouse thinks and processes information. Lack of this understanding will affect every aspect of your relationship.
Can you imagine if all the people in the world are just men or just women? We will live in a very boring and lifeless world. Both men and women are needed in the world and one is not an advantage over the other as they both have their individual and unique roles to play in order to fulfill God's plan.
As a result, in a relationship the opinion of both partners are equally very important. Get to know, understand and appreciate your differences so that you may grow and have a successful and fruitful relationship. Proverbs 24:3-5.

DIFFERENCE 1:
WOMEN ARE RELATIONSHIP-ORIENTED WHILE MEN ARE WORK-ORIENTED:-

BOXING RING

1. Naturally, a man will always see fulfilment in his work, winning a competition and just conquering. He has a conquer mentality. He wants to be in charge and prove his abilities. So, he likes competitions; that is why many men like games like football, boxing and other highly competitive games that steer up their passion.
On the other hand, women are not as such because relationship is not developed in the boxing ring or on the football field/pitch. They are relationship-oriented. The reason most women have more friends than most men and they trust easily than men.
2. A woman gets her identity from the relationships she builds. A man gets his sense of accomplishment and identity in his work. As a result, women are very emotional while men are very logical always wanting to reason out all things.
3. Women are more regular in Church attendance than men and they are often open-hearted. They love to always discuss in details including their daily endeavours. They always expect men to say more than a few words like "it is good", "it is well", "okay", "fine", etc.
Men speak an average of about 11,000 words a day while women speak about double of these words a day.
A woman wants her spouse to give her attention when she talks. Listen to her and be interested in her discussion both in the private and in the public.
4. Women tend to work harder to keep their relationship and please their spouse than men. While men on the other hand take their relationship to be a project because they are work-oriented.

5. The relational part of a woman makes her always love to practice hugging people. She loves to hear fondle words softly spoken like "I love you", "I miss you", "I like the way you handle our children", "I love the meal", etc. But, a man wants to hear things that pertain to his achievements in his work, conquest and exploit or ego.
6. When a man loses his job, it is usually traumatic for him and his relationship. At times, such gets him to do crazy things and behave foolishly if not properly handled. To him, loss of his job makes him lose his rightness and identity and he feels like a failure (that he can't provide and protect his family or relationship).
This is because, his mentality is that he is working to protect and provide for his family. But, for a woman, her mentality is that she wants him.
7. Men tend to be prideful because they are success-oriented. Women want their spouses to give them most attention because they are relationship-oriented.
8. Women always want to talk to their spouses. You need to give her most attention not the football you are watching or the work you are doing. When you do she will possibly join you in watching or in working.
This suggests that if there is anything your spouse is interested in doing, get interested in it. It could be shopping, football, movies, sleeping, traveling, etc.
9. Because of man's orientation, the way he thinks about intimacy in relationship is by having sex. Genesis 34. But a woman's affection is usually moved by words not really sex. So, when you meet a woman for the first time, talk with her and get to know her. Don't act hastily asking for her phone number or BB pin. By so doing you are short-circuiting the necessary discussion that should begin every relationship.
10. Women move to nurture relationships while men move to achieve their works.
11. While a man wants his spouse to give attention to his work, ambitions, visions, goals, pursuits and opinions both in the private and in the public; a woman wants her spouse to give attention to her when she is talking and discussing both in the private and in the public.
When you are in courtship, don't get busy sleeping with each other, engage in quality discussions and get to know more about each other doing proper evaluations. Otherwise, the man will face his work after you are married.

...TO BE CONTINUED ON MONDAY, MAY 21, 2012.