HANDLING PRIDE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

(President, The Singles Fellowship, The Fountain of Life Church)

One of the most important vices that must be overcome in order to have a fruitful and successful relationship is PRIDE. Many people have made a mess of their lives and relationships due to pride.

When a known Christian falls into a sin of fornication and carelessly gets pregnant, it is often due to pride, at times, when he/she get puffed up with the knowledge you think you have about relationship

Even married couples need to deal with it too because it is very destructive. Lucifer was sent out of heaven because of it. Ezekiel 28. There are know and unknown things in our lives that often give elevated opinions about ourselves. We need to watch out. There are so many people who have lost their gifts because of pride.

There is always something in your life that you look at that causes you to be prideful and therefore based on that you become prideful to others and elevate yourself unusually. There is nothing we have that we didn’t receive. Why do you boast as if you were self-made? There is no self-made man; you should realize that all glory must return to God.

Pride is deeply in the heart of every man and this makes us to tend to discuss and compare ourselves with others when we meet. It is part of human nature to compare oneself with others. So, you need to deal with it.

DEFINITIONS

1.      Pride always have resultant effects and causes you to sin. Pride leads to anger, anger leads to malice, malice leads to hatred and hatred leads to others sins. This is how pride progresses on in sin. It was through pride that the Devil became the devil. Every time you are prideful, you become an opponent of God.

2.      Pride is simply thinking you are better than somebody else. It reflects in a relationship when your partner is not willing to hear your opinions on a matter, thereby making you feel like a moron. It is a deceiving spirit that makes you feel you are always right and makes you despise spiritual instructions and advices. It will hinder you from seeking for useful counsels and advices because you think you know. You always want endorsement. It results into failure at all times.

3.      Pride is the absence of humility and teachable spirit. Prideful people also boast that they don’t change their minds. It is self worship or idolatry as such that you believe you are your own god.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH PRIDE?

1.      Pride changes your way of thinking from best to worst. You think only about yourself where you feel your opinions, feelings and emotions are superior at all times. As such, you will always hurt others and never say “I am sorry” when you are wrong.

2.      Pride makes you prone to mistakes and errors. Proverbs 11:2. Prideful people always miss out useful information needed to make best decisions because they feel they know. Therefore, they will always make serious mistakes and errors. Not accepting possible mistakes committed is a sign of pride. With mistakes come shame and destruction. Pride steals your identity. Prideful people always want the spot light to be on them and are usually selfish. He/she wants the partner to always be centre of attraction and become intimidated if otherwise. Then, tries to manipulate him or her as to dominate.

3.      Pride is the source of contention and friction or conflict in a relationship. Proverbs 13:10. There is nothing as honourable as learning to say “sorry”. A lot of people seek after who is right rather than what is right. Men have a lot of ego; therefore, women have to learn submission. To do this, you have to be filled with the Holy Spirit and always speak in tongues so as to be able to always speak right and use helpful words.

4.      Pride makes you blind to your fault, disregard other people’s views and disrespect them. It makes you non-progressive and obstinate. Any thing that the Spirit can’t change in you makes you prideful.

WHY IS PRIDE TO BE DEALT WITH?

        1.      It is a sin. Proverbs 21:4 (MSG). Any prideful man is distinguished by wickedness.

        2.      It will be punished and judged by God. Proverbs 16:5 (NLT).

        3.      God hates pride. Proverbs 6:16. God resists the proud people and makes it makes you become          God’s opponent. James 4:6.

        4.      It is a route to destruction. Proverbs 16:18.

        5.      It takes you far from God. Psalms 10:4. When you are in a relationship and you are prideful, God stays far away from you.

        6.      It makes you a fool.

        7.      It is a recipe for disgrace and shame. Daniel 5:20 (NKJV). When you get into pride, your heart and spirit get hardened. That is when you become obstinate.

        8.      It short-circuits your life and relationships. Ecclesiastes 7:8.

HOW TO HANDLE PRIDE

1 Corinthians 13:4; Ephesians 4:2

1.    Walk in love and be patient with people:  People will make mistakes because they are not up to your standard, so be very patient with them. You should know and understand that there are people that are better and richer than you. God is so generous that He makes all things go. That is why charm is deceitful and beauty fades away or disappears with time.

2.    Always be humble and gentle:         It is impossible to be humble without being gentle. How you want to be treated, treat others. Humility pleases God. In life, because we all have different views and dealings, it is not wrong to have a different opinions and thoughts. You agree to disagree. So, you should also disagree to agree. With humility comes honour. Every time you want to have your way, check your spiritual antenna because it takes the Spirit to be humble and gentle.
Marriage is like a service; if you should compete, compete on who to serve most not otherwise. The best way you enjoy sex in marriage is to have the attitude of servicehood, a situation where you always seek to give desirable pleasure and satisfaction to your partner.
It takes humility to learn and carry out servicehood. That you are a jovial person doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have boundaries. You should draw and define boundaries. Every relationship should have a boundary.

May the Lord help you with His Spirit and strengthen your faith in Him. Amen.

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