DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LOVE AND INFATUATION (PART 2)

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

(President, The Singles Fellowship, The Fountain of Life Church)

3. Infatuation always “looks on” and this makes it superficial; but true love “looks through” and is sacrificial. 1 Samuel 9:2; 1 Samuel 16:6-7. Many people just make decisions based on what they see. Eyes can’t just decide, you need to search out what his or her heart is made off. You can achieve this by the help of the Holy Spirit through God’s Words. Jeremiah 17:9-10. Like Prophet Samuel, you may know where you are going, but can you recognize what you want and that God has prepared for you? Because a man or a woman’s inside is important to God, it must be important to us as well. While infatuation looks on the surface, love through a man or a woman.

4. Infatuation is almost effortless, but true love involves hard work. Infatuation is always selfish, but love compromises for good in a godly manner.
5. Infatuation is only about emotions, but love is first about an act of will then feelings, which are just the easy part of love work.
6. Love is a choice – an important decision. While love chooses the whole package of the intended having observed him/her in different seasons of life, infatuation just look for just one desirable characteristic and quickly decide. Love appraises someone in different seasons and gets to know his or her whole package, understands the totality of the person. It won’t appraise just a few characteristics of the person but the whole.
7. Infatuation is obsessive and unhealthy (makes you sick and desperate), but love always makes you whole, cheerful and fulfilled. 2 Samuel 13:1-19. Love can’t make you sick, only infatuation does. When you say you are love sick, you aren’t in love, but simply infatuated. Watch what you meditate on frequently; whatever you meditate on becomes bigger.

“What your thoughts, they become you words;

  Watch your words, they become your actions;

  Watch your actions, they become your habits;

  Watch you habits, they become your characters;

  Watch your characters, they become you.”

8. Infatuation is dominated by anxiety, fear and insecurity, and makes you feel incomplete. 1 John 4:18 (MSG). It often has high sex content because it is mostly about attraction. But, true love cast out all fears and gives you real faith, sense of security, wholeness/completeness and reverence for God. God designs us in such a way that, when we are in a relationship, our emotional and physical parts merge. When you have fear or you are insecure, you will always ask for reassurance. But with love, there is security because there is a growing trust. Infatuation will always make you to be at you best at all times, thereby living a false life. So, when you are infatuated, you want everything to be perfect without any correction and you aren’t yourself because of fear. Therefore, you don’t have room for change and personal development. So note, you are infatuated when you feeling perfect in a relationship, selfish, unnecessarily jealous and not trustworthy.
9. Infatuation is about flattery, lies and insincerity. But in true love, there is perfect truth. Though, truth may be bitter, but love speaks truth with the sense of correcting one another. Proverbs 7:21. Infatuation can cost you your life, because, it tells you so much lies and deceptions. Often times, people try to entice you to themselves by flattering you and being unusually kind with almost faultless gestures.
10. In infatuation, you fall in love so quickly and perhaps die; but in true love, you grow in love as you observe him/her in different seasons of life. Growing in love takes time. So, you need to learn to give love proper time to grow.

I want you to ensure that you take good time to observe your intended partner in different seasons of life before you decide on love. I pray that you will make the right decisions in Jesus’ name.

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THE CONFIDENT SINGLES