LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: The Fact, the Fiction and The Chemistry (Part 2)

By Pastor Kunle Osunkunle

It is difficult to differentiate between love and infatuation because feelings and emotions are inherent in every human being.

Human eyes will naturally crave for some things and see things. But not all that you see are good. So, you need to take a second look and discern properly. If you want a successful relationship, you need to live beyond your physical senses and never make permanent decisions based on what you see.

Love is a covenant that requires commitment and responsibilities. Thus, sometimes, duty comes before feelings in love. You can’t take a covenant at first sight. Love is not on the skin as in a broad chest, or in a good job, nice voice or mundane beauty. Love is deeper than all these. It is the essence of God.

True love is critical to a successful marriage. Marriage is a life time investment in your life and another person which must not be made on mere feelings, emotions and attractions that are temporal (fade away quickly).

Love doesn’t encamps, entraps or cages you; it sets you feel. In love, there is no occasion for stumbling. Infatuation deprives you of sound judgment and makes you foolish as it inspires you with a foolish and extravagant passion.

Feelings are only meant to be initiator of love and not decider of love. Therefore, self-control is needed to grow in love. Hormones put under the subject of the Holy Spirit is called Self-Control. When you subject yourself to pornography, wrong music and other bad influences, you create wrong images of love in your mind that will promote fantasies which will lead you astray when you are making love decision (because you are sight-driven and not spirit-led).

Infatuation is like a surge which blows off things. But, when you renew your mind in the word of God your mind get stabilized.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LOVE AND INFATUATION

           1.      When it is love, the priority and focus will be to ensure a close walk with God; not to hamper your relationship with God. It will be about pleasing God nor pleasing yourself or your intended partner. Infatuation will say to you to disobey God. Thus, anything that causes you to value or please yourself and others more than God is infatuation.

           2.      When it is love time is always involved. Love takes time to grow. Infatuation is sudden like a surge and an explosion. Love is never in haste but infatuation doesn’t wait for a second. Love takes time to grow. It grows based on shared interest, focused values and beliefs.

           3.      Infatuation is quite superficial (momentarily) and it’s all about attraction. Don’t let attraction seduce you and sweep you off your feet. Proverbs 6:25; 7:10-27: 31:10-31.

Love is eternal and constant. What you should look for in choosing a life partner is not beauty or physical attraction; but inner strength and spiritual attraction. Beauty and attraction can’t help you in the days of trouble.

           4.      Infatuation is a mere emotion (e-motion – it is always moving and changing). It is about wanting an immediate gratification and satisfaction. If you want things to work well in your relationship you must deeply and patiently investigate your feelings before you make a permanent decision on love.

           5.      Infatuation takes just only a characteristic of a person and makes a quick decision. But, love takes the total characteristics and qualities well investigated. If you take a permanent decision based on what makes you feel sick it will always end you in hatred.

          6.      Infatuation always wants to take what you have that you should cherish most. Love always want to give you what you need that will satisfy you. Infatuation is about what you can get from someone while love is about what you can give selflessly to other person. Love asks how I can be of help to the other person.

          7.      Infatuation consists of fear and anxiety; but in love, there is no fear. 1 John 4:18. Infatuation causes you to always want re-assurance. Love causes trust. It allows you to be yourself.

You need to take it slow and get to know each other through different seasons of life. Don’t allow your feelings and emotions to bind you that you enter a wrong relationship.

Always walk in the Spirit and be led by Him.

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