LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: The Fact, The Fiction and The Chemistry (Part 1)

Message by Pastor Kunle Osunkunle
(President of Singles Fellowship, The Fountain of Life Church)

How can you differentiate between the instant attraction and feeling from true love? Is it all about what I see with my eyes or is there more?

In order to build a successful relationship and a marriage that is heaven on earth you must be able to differentiate between LOVE and INFATUATION, so how do you do this?

Love is not a feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you have never felt before. Love is a deliberate choice, a conscious decision you make with total commitment and responsibility towards others.

Research shows that 55% of Christian Singles believe in "love at first sight". Perhaps, this is due to the perverted definitions that Hollywood, Bollywood & Nollywood have given to love which form the basis of our natural instinct for love. Thus, at every opportunity of seeing a dazzling, irresistible, pretty lady or a handsome man, we start to fantasize and momentarily lose control of our mind.

Wanting to love and to be loved is a normal part of life. This is because we are created by God in His image. So, we are wired for love. The concept of love in the world is totally different from that of God’s Kingdom.

It may be love at first sight in the world’s view; it is not in God’s Kingdom. If all you see is all you see, then you are blind. You need to see beyond your natural/physical sight before you decide on love. Thus, it’s always a good idea to take a second look because the first look may be subtly deceptive.

Whenever you make a decision based on what is fleeting which has the ability to fade away, you will have to deal with the bad consequences thereafter.

Love at first sight is only possible if both partners are in God’s glory spirit, soul and body as evident between Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden before the fall of man.

WHAT IS INFATUATION?

Infatuation is a kind of romantic attraction you have towards a stranger as presented in movies. It is a king of madness – philia-mania (love of madness from gods involving cubids).

It makes you foolish and it deprives you of sound judgment. It is a temporary love of extravagant passion – an emotional response to fantasies that you have carried all through your life.

Therefore, love at first sight is merely feelings which may be from God and it is meant to begin the process of love, not to be mistaken as love.

So, there can be likeness and attraction at first sight. But, real love will make you grow into itself.

Many people take a quick and lasting decision for marriage based on feelings, mere likeness and attractions. These are always changing and you can’t successfully make a right decision on something that is always changing. Little wonder some people easily break their marital vows and the menace of divorce we have today.

Love at first sight will deny you the required time, quality decisions and commitment that are necessary for a successful relationship. When you make decisions on something that doesn’t last you simply rule out the God-factor.

As it is in the case of Jacob and Rachael in Genesis 29:14-21, Jacob decided on love for Rachael only on physical attraction without taking adequate time to find out about her characters, habits and attitudes. She did have some bad and godless habits.

One great test of love is “the ability to wait.” Thus, love is patient. You need to know if you can be committed to and really love your intended partner despite his/her shortcomings.

Love requires an in-depth knowledge about someone and it takes time to find out who a person truly is.

Nobody gets married to beauty because even if she is Miss. World, she won’t look her best all the time. So, you have to discover something that is lasting and consistent which you can appreciate in him/her before you decide on marriage.

Consequently, there are some people that are very beautiful and attractive, yet it is most expedient for you not to approach them. You need to spiritually discern this. Of a truth, there are some beautiful witches and handsome devils, so, beware.

As such feelings can be initiator of love but cannot be love. The inability to differentiate between love and infatuations has exposes many people to the dangers of marriage when choosing their life partners.

Note, it is not all you see that you can run after. You must start to renew your mind in the word of God. That someone is pretty, handsome, well-endowed or wealthy are just life pluses. If you get to know his or her minuses and you still love the person, then you are truly in love with him/her.

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THE CONFIDENT SINGLES