A TALK SHOW tagged “Where is my Prince Charming?”

Moderator: Pastor Kunle Osunkunle (President, Single and Married Fellowship)

Discussant: Pastor Segun Williams, Pastor Mrs. Mary, Sister Bolaji and Bro. Akinyemi Bolaji.

Every Single man and woman always looks forward to getting into relationship and getting married. Therefore, immense pressure begins to set in within and without. Pressure from parents, siblings, peers, friends, colleagues and community where you live. You then begin to look up to when your Prince Charming or Cinderella will show up and start a relationship.

Waiting now becomes a germane issue. If you ask someone in such a situation, the usual response is “I’m waiting.” Perhaps, each time you attend a wedding occasion, you are told that you are the next groom or bride.

In fact, your parents, friends, siblings, and peers will give you disgusting suggestions and ideas or pieces of irritating advice.

The questions here are “How do you wait for the right man or woman?” “What are you supposed to do while waiting?”

This discussion attempts to answer these critical questions.

Many Single people live as if Single life is a time for mourning. You need to enjoy your Single life while waiting on God for the right and best suitor.

One important thing you should do is to watch your wrong attitudes that are liable to push away good people from your life. You can change with the help of the Holy Spirit.

QUESTION 1: “What can I do to be date-able and how can I attract my Prince charming?”

SPEAKER 1:  Pastor Mary explained using her personal experiences. She got married at 42 years old.

It is true that intense pressure will come to the extent that you will almost forget to celebrate your birth date. This perhaps could begin from your family members who will stand to suggest things to you as if to add to God in your life. But the question remains, “Are you waiting on the Lord or you are waiting just for the brother or sister to come?” You have got to be focused. This was what she did that helped her. She knew that her attitudes had to change. You need to do this so that when he or she comes, he or she will be able to see who you really are.

SPEAKER 2:  Brother Bolaji Akinyemi emphasized that there is a phase in life that we should get married. More so, you should have an idea of what you want because several things will come your way at this phase of your life.

SPEAKER 3:  Sister Bolaji added that she is now quite over 30 years and her family concluded that she should go and get pregnant with probably a widower or even a married man; but she should ensure that the man’s wife does not know. God later assured her that He will grant her a godly man as her husband. If He could provide her a car and an apartment when she needed them, why would she think that God will not get her a husband?

SPEAKER 4:  Brother Segun Williams put it like this. At this time, you will receive pieces of advice because of the misconception people have about marriage. Some think the reason to marry is because their parents are disturbing them then they should marry or simply because age is catching up with them. Why do some people get married early while some marry late? In fact, some people don’t help the situation as they prolong the single phase through their attitudes. Just like the Israelites who stayed in the land of captivity for 430 years instead of 400 years and also wandered in the wilderness for 40 years instead of 40 days and 40 nights. Instead of waiting, some people get engaged in murmuring and complaining. Enjoy where you are on your way to where you are going.

In addition to these, it is important to note that our individual divine assignments differ; as a result, individual waiting period differs as well as the preparation period. You should stop been desperate and discover who you are. Discover yourself and make yourself a good man or woman; so that the good man or woman comes, he or she will find you prepared and as a good thing to desire. Ensure that you stay around people that will encourage you in the time of waiting.

It is a challenge to live as a Christian, because you cannot do things any how just like the unbelievers. Ensure you listen to God and not people, and you must begin to think with your mind and allow God to speak you.

QUESTION 2:  “Am in a relationship where my partner doesn’t want me to complain. If I complain, he says that I am nagging, what should I do?

SPEAKER 1:  You need to call for a meeting where both of you will sit down to discuss on it. Talk about it and if he is not willing for you to voice out, you may be in a wrong relationship. Then, it is best to call it a quit. A man that will not hear the opinion of his partner will not make a good husband and vice versa.

SPEAKER 2: You need to discover how to communicate with him; by then, if he is still not going to hear your opinion, there is a serious fundamental problem. A woman should not nag, but if she does, it simply implies that she is saying something he is not listening to.

Women are born naturally to be talkers. Therefore, men should learn to be good listener and be patient enough so as to understand them and be good communicators. Consequently, women should learn to be considerate when discussing and understand men’s creation as well.

More so, men should help the women on how to present issues as such that will not offend their creation. You need to be mindful of the time to present your issues to your partner as well.

Summary:

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW AND DO WHILE WAITING

1. You need to be very fervent in prayers. First of all, you need to know that you are to wait on God not on a man or woman as you look forward to starting a relationship and marriage. As you wait on God, don’t be afraid or doubtful.
2. Change your attitude.
3. Be focused on God and not on the intended Prince Charming or Cinderella. Trust alone in God.
4. Avoid being desperate. A decision taken in desperation will cause you to act desperately and desperate actions are always bitter and regretful actions.
5. Develop friendship. God will bring a lot of people around you; make sure you build right friendship with people since you cannot marry an enemy but a friend.
6. You need to develop high sensitivity in the spirit through the help of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, you need to build a strong and intimate relationship first with God. You can only find a good and godly, virtuous woman (wife) by the help and favor of God. Proverbs 18:22.
7. Serve God. The fact that you need favor as to find a desirable wife or husband should make you serve God. But it has to be a deliberate act.
8. Speak to God always about your need. If you can ask God for food, shelter, money, job, clothing and other material possessions because you believe He can provide them; you should believe as well that He is able to give you a wife or husband. He will grant you favor. Matthew 7:7-11.
9. Discover the reason why you need to get married. You need to answer the question on why you want to get married. Different people get married for different reasons; you cannot afford to get married for the wrong reasons.
10.  Get a vision for marriage. You need to have a vision for your desired marriage and have plans. This is part of the indispensable preparations you need to do before you get into a relationship and get married.
11.  Build and develop yourself into a good and desirable man or woman. A good man or woman will attract a good woman or man respectively. Then, people can desire you and become inestimable like an expensive jewel.
12.  Get busy. Waiting period is not a time for idleness as to play around or be engaged with worthless activities that can jeopardize your visions and dreams. Add eventfully to your life.
13.  Get to know. It is also a time to learn all necessary things and get useful information you need; especially about your opposite sex, knowledge about yourself and your intended partner.

To be continued…watch out for the next post!

Join us @ Single and Married Fellowship at The Fountain of Life Church, Ilupeju, Lagos State, Nigeria every Monday by 6:00pm prompt.

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THE CONFIDENT SINGLES